this isn't scare tactic, this is what i've seen.
xanax withdrawal can be worse than heroin withdrawal. stuff is crazy addicting....you can play with it for ages (as in not every day) and then one day you suddenly feel REALLY restless, POUNDING heart, everything feels off, wrong, like the universe is twisted inside out - then you take a pill and it's all good. it's hard to stop this cycle once it starts and once it starts......god help you.
up here, dr's won't Rx it for more than 4 days at a time.
depending on how long you're addicted, w/d can last up to a year. it's the kind of withdrawal that includes a host of awful physical/mental symptoms along with actual audio/visual hallucinations and siezures (end up in the hospital for them, you will lose your drivers license).
it just isn't worth it.

to the op
i can relate.....tho the most *abusable* things my docs would write for were trazadone and seroquel.....disgusting~

if you've been a drug abuser....it's always going to be there. 10% of the population is prone to getting addicted....period. doesn't matter what kind of treatment you get, what kind of group you go to - so don't feel bad. feel empower'd. in my mind the first step in realizing you're in this group - you will always be this way.
if you have psychoactive medication, anything that can create a buzz - doesn't matter if your doc Rx'd it, you will be prone to abusing it.

it's a shite hand to be dealt for sure...but don't beat yourself up over it. that's the oldschool way of doing things. know what you did, why you did it, and carry on. dragging yourself down serves no purpose other than to drag yourself down. this life is just too short.

last thing - you ever wonder'd if your dose is too low? maybe you should be on a little bit of a higher dose so that you don't have to up it 3x with stress and anger? have you ever talked to your doc about it?
there's a very big difference between feeling well and substance abuse....you shouldn't have to "abuse" your meds to get the desired (and hopefully wanted by/from your doc) effect of mental wellbeing...