Hi. I'm super sad and a bit drained after calling my dad yesterday. It was his birthday. He and I aren't very close, his health has been deteriorating for the last 10 years.

One of his friends called me to tell me he was in the ER with sepsis. I'd never heard of it but it can be fatal. He's in a recovery room now, but I'm just so sad still. He gave up on life a long time ago. He's diabetic and obese and lives in a shack. Last time I saw him he was pretty catatonic. Just unresponsive. My friend had just been killed in a bike accident and I was looking for sympathy. I told him and he was absolutely silent, with no expression.

It hurts so much to see him and know that he doesn't love himself enough to take care of himself.