I can see your point, he may be being self-preserving right now, but it is all really very subjective information and everything we say about this man is based on very little information and we have to make too many assumptions. Even if there is a part that is selfish about his motive, to what degree? Clearly she cares for this man so we're leaving out all kinds of good things that have not been said up to this point.

Another thought is, to reply to the idea that "if he's not serious..." Maybe he isn't AS SERIOUS as her yet. Why does it have to be right now? Maybe there are things that he needs to have in order to really be serious. In today's day and age, we all move way too fast and I think this very clearly is something that contributes to the fast connections and subsequent disconnections and breakups. Has anyone thought about that maybe it's actually ok that he isn't ready to move forward in this way? I don't mean to be the devil's advocate here but seriously this whole thread is based around the idea that he's done or is doing something wrong. Just not enough information to make this assumption.

To try to be helpful here, I can only say one thing. The OP needs to communicate with her bf and voice these concerns without accusation or blame, how she feels about things and how his choices are affecting her. We can talk til saturday night about this and nothing will happen until she brings it up to him, and we know his response. Until then I will make no assumptions that he is all wrong in this.