Hello PinkPurse,

I have depression and it is currently under control, though before it reached that point it caused quite a bit of turmoil in my past relationships.

To begin, Gayleggg is spot-on. It's clear that your boyfriend's bout with depression is very serious, and right now the best course of action is to obtain professional medical help. It's unfortunate that he's forced to wait to see a therapist, but with how badly he's feeling it seems clear that he needs help as soon as possible. Have him see his regular doctor in the meantime - they can prescribe antidepressant medication and provide additional assistance in terms of where to go from there. The typical treatment plan for severe depression is a combination of therapy and medication, and while it's a gradual recovery, it usually is effective with most people.

In terms of your boyfriends attitude towards his relationship with you, I'm very sorry about his attempts to distance himself. Speaking personally from my own relationships I've struggled with at my worst, I understand where he's coming from. When a person is really depressed, they feel like they are of no worth, and a detriment to those around them. On one hand, it means the absolute world to have someone you love to talk to, and on the other there's a sense of guilt that this loved one is being "punished" with your presence. That being said, you love him and want to stick by his side. Until his treatment process starts to make him feel a bit better, I think the best thing you can do is make him aware that this is your choice. Let him know that you fully realize why he wants you to "move on," and you understand why he feels that way. But emphasize that you're an independent human being, and you are acting on your own free will when you tell him that you want to stay by his side, and help him get through this. By making him aware that you acknowledge his reasoning (however clouded by depression as it may be), you might be able to mitigate his guilt a bit, and at least be able to demonstrate that you're aware of what you're doing.

In any case, best of luck to you. I'm sorry you and your boyfriend are going through this. If he's still insistent, it might be helpful to suggest "a little distance" instead of "moving on" while he focuses on treatment. It's a middle ground, and separation doesn't need to be permanent, and depression is treatable. Take care.