Sorry to hear you are feeling so alone. Do you see a therapist? If not, it sounds like you should. You need someone to talk to when you are feeling so alone. I just recently started back again after stopping for a while. Maybe you should take a trip back to where your from if you think that will comfort you, and try to reconnect with your sister. About the dreams of your Dad dying, that is a tough one. Death is scary and unfortunately it something we have to deal with. I just lost my Mom not to long ago and I am still struggling with it. I would say to try not to dwell on when your Dad will die and just try to be with him as much as you can, share things with him and love him while he is here. I know thats not comforting. You sound like you are very down on yourself, I hope you will consider counseling.

Take Care and hope things get better.

Bree Marie.