2 sisters found my seclusive brother with schizophrenia dead today in his home. He had not let people in in over 20 years but did shop for food and essentials with my sisters. He was untreated for three years. He refused to be treated. He had other illness, undiagnosed. was dead for 48 ish hours. Cancer? Also had Reynards poor sisters, the youngest has taken care of him all of her adult life. He would have been 50 in March. He finally leaves two brothers to have their own age for the three months of the year that they were all the same age.

This is not grief, it is not sorrow, it is plain and simple general life. How do we choose to live? Who do we choose who to let in or near? How do we justify our own choices and cruelty? We must meet our self's in the mirror someday.

Have we caused pain by are actions or thoughts? Then let it go now because we may have already ran out of time. I have no feelings of wishing different actions from me. I am relieved that his suffering is done and my fear of him harming someone in a delusion are not met with reality.

I have not known him in 25 years or more. I could deal with strangers with this illness but he scared me and so I chose not to deal. It's all okay in the end as life begins anew.