I wanted to step in and say hello. I am going to go by Red if that's good with you all. I am 24 year old female who was diagnosed as bipolar 2 when I was 20. Its been a very rough road traveled. I believe looking back at my life I can see how I have had this issue since I was a young teenager. When I was 8 my mother moved in with and eventually married a man with three children of his own making me the middle of 6. It was a rough road with ADHD and a myriad of other issues. In the shadow of my three step siblings a lot of what I did was over looked. At one point in high school I was diagnosed as depressed and put on Zoloft (this was before they found out the issues with ADs and teens) I don't remember being depressed but I do remember being very aggressive and energetic in high school. I was also deemed the "queen of unfinished projects". I realized I had an issue junior year of college after transferring schools and realizing the previous year I could spend two whole days hyper focused on a project then crash for 3 days and barely making it to classes. It was a year trying to get medicine, therapy, and being able to work, pay for college and eat. I went from abilify which was great except the price tag. To limactol which made me exhausted all the time. To another medicine I was on for three days which ended with a full manic break down in the quad. I ended on risperidone which caused my hormones to fluctuate. I graduated last December from college and at the prodding of my mother who never agreed with my diagnosis I got placed on welbutrin and removed from risperidone while having bipolar removed as my diagnosis. I know that this isn't working the best for me as a rapid cycler its pushed me into ultra rapid cycling where I can have lows where I sleep for 18 hours and lay in bed the rest of the time on the verge of tears (Sunday) to dysphoric mania to agitated depressed to hypo manic in 4 days. My pdoc( hopefully I am using the right abbreviation) moved and I never got another one as my schedule is hard to make appointments with. It was easier because nothing was as stressful as college see I got a great new job and freedom but about 6 months in I started having issues with my wisdom teeth and started cycling again in a more noticeable manner. I got a boyfriend who is a great guy. He's 22 and very sweet but ADHD and very naïve. Within two weeks he was telling me I was the love of his life and In the last 4 days He's found a way to say all the wrong things ( you know the things you shouldn't say to bipolar "you don't have to have x,y and ,z" and things like that). Any time im in a serious low he becomes insecure thinking im going to leave him which usually ends up with him showing up at my door step and crying which is not good for me at all. He has made promises to research my diagnosis to try and help me and himself in understanding but he has yet to do so. It also doesn't help that as time continues on I'm finding myself indifferent to having a boyfriend. I have always been extremely independent and fickle so it makes it very hard for me to want to be around anyone to the point of making an effort to see them. On top of that I've always wanted children but don't know how I could handle the process of pregnancy so having a boyfriend is another reminder of what I may never be able to have. I am also in the process of buying a house with acreage out in the middle of nowhere and I am so excited but its been nothing but problems and in all of this I've had the worst low I've had in years. I felt like joining a community would be a good place for me to start trying to work on myself again while potentially helping others by sharing my two cents. Thank you for letting me join and I look forward to getting to know you all.