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Dec 10, 2013, 08:21 PM
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Member Since: Dec 2013
Location: On your monitor
Posts: 1
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Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
You love this man. Yet so quickly you are saying you want to call it quits? Seems like a contradiction in a way.. Fact is, this is about you and him first. Even though the children need to know him because they are young, it is different with an 18 yr old or older. When he says it will complicate his life, taht's not a judgment on you but his family. Perhaps his son has a problem with him having another girlfriend and he doesn't want to deal with it just yet. He could be waiting to make sure you're serious about him before he commits to introducing you to any others. Again, it's not your RIGHT to know his son at this point and unfair to base whether you'd go forward or not with him on the fact he won't introduce you. Keep working on you and him, as partners. Not everything has to happen right now.
Also as a side note, I sense a bit of judgement on your part of him. "he doesn't pay child support because she doesn't make him." Two things, one, that's entirely irrelevant to what your questions are and two, that's between his ex and him. No one else. Not even you. Also as a last point, afaik, in most states, at 18 yrs, the child support would stop anyway except in rare cases when college is involved.
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I agree with this response. Especially the bolded. To the poster, you stated that it's not fair that you introduced your kids to him but he hasn't introduced his child to you or your children. It's not fair to expect him to introduce his little one to you just because you introduced your kids to him. You were ready, and he was honest with you by saying that he wasn't ready. The reasons that he gave you doesn't sound like he's trying to be malicious or mean. It's an issue if he never intends to introduce you to his family or child. But that doesn't sound like the case. He's just not ready for various reasons to do it right now. It's kinda like saying, because I told you "I love you" first, and you don't say it back, then I'm going to get mad at you. I can understand the hurt feelings, but if the person isn't ready they aren't ready. I think he is being a responsible parent by waiting before the introduction.
And I agree when someone said the child's age may be a factor also. No way in the world, as a woman, as a mom, I would be cool with my 18 month old meeting their father's girlfriend. Wife? Maybe I would be ok. So, I can see how the mother wouldn't be feeling the whole situation.
It's only been barely three months since you two have been serious (you stated that he basically moved in in September). I would give it time. Try not to take it personal. If it bothers you, then discuss it with him. Don't expect him to change his decision but just put it out there that you were a little bothered.
Good luck.
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