Thanks for your stories. It really helps to hear. I did just have one glass. I was loving it at first though with a lot of guilt and then I came on here to post and then I went ahead and texted my friend who keeps me on the straight and narrow with this kind of thing and I felt like I was trying to move myself out of the riptide of the immediate need. I still finished that small glass but towards the end I could feel it in my brain rather than just the warmness ya know and I realized that I didn't like it and didn't want it to go any further. So I had no more. And it was easy.

Sometimes I feel over it and it seems easy. Other times and situations are harder. I have a friend from college coming to stay and while she is totally aware there will be no drinking it is just very in my face. And then the holidays and both my parents and my husband's parents are huge drinkers so there will be alcohol galore. I just have to remember how awful it feels to be too drunk, to be hungover, to be depressed, to be mixed, to cycle and cycle and hurt and hurt. So yeah I don't want it. It is too high stakes.

Maybe I needed this one little blip to get it out of my system a bit. To see that it isn't some great thing after all.