Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel of Bedlam
So when I've been in other relationships, I have found myself wanting sex just for security. I basically would use sex as a way to assure myself that our relationship was okay. We'd fight, I'd want to have sex; he'd threaten to leave, I'd want sex; he'd become physically violent and I'd want sex. I guess it's like so long as I was good enough to make love to, then he wouldn't leave.
I'm currently in a relationship with a wonderful man. He's kind, loving, smart- just a remarkable person, I'm very lucky. We have been having a rough patch as of late and I find myself hungry for sex for the same unhealthy reasons as before. I've resisted the urge, forcing myself to keep intimacy as a way to bring us closer together rather than use it as a security blanket. My question is, is this normal? And how to I stop craving sex as a way to feel okay in our relationship? Thanks for reading and I appreciate the feedback!
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Congratulations on finding a good man! It looks you used to have partners who were way worse than him, right? including those who got physically violent. So - great.
I do not think that you need to label some sort of a motivation to have sex as unhealthy and other kind as healthy. There is nothing wrong in having sex to bring you guys closer together on some occasions as well as to feel secure on other occasions. Since you like it both ways, no reason not to have it both ways.