There is no way, to the extent I understand those things and I have only main read about them, to predict from appearance whether a person is a freak, sexually. I am on OKCupid, but irregularly - I check messages and matches very sporadically. Today, for some reason, I was given a match of a Brit living in Britain. He is very attractive and looks completely normal, but, per his profile, is a domme (I actually thought that domme is a female, but this is how he put it) and is so seriously into BDSM that he offers advice for newbies on spanking etc. For me all BDSM is freakish, and thus, for me, he is a freak, but there is no way I could have told from looking at this face. I think it was a failure of the OKC algorithm because why would they give me a British BDSM guy as a match when I stated that I was looking for local guys only, and I answered so many questions that it is clear to the algorithm that I am not into kink.

In general, I feel for you - it is very hard when you are in love with a person who is for one reason or another not a good match for you. I think that you are in that situation.