You have serious depressive symptoms. Maybe you need to try another AD (anti-depressant) as there are many on the market and you may need to spend several months in a trial and error process. The thoughts you described here - have you verbalized them to your therapist or psychiatrist?

What is your money situation? You wrote of sex, travel, relationships. I am thinking that travel - finances permitting - should be the first thing to tackle, because it does not require a partner. Plus, my understanding is that there is some interesting action going in European youth hostels, sex-wise . I have never been there myself, but - you get the point. Youth hostels are not monasteries.

If you can afford a vacation, I would say start with that - you will build some confidence and will have more things to talk about on dates. Also, how long do you expect to live based on the genetics (are your parents and grandparents alive, and if not, at what age did they die - these things run in families). Because I, say, now that I have cleared the stage of suicidality, expect to live until 80-90 - we have longevity running in the family. So I also had several years without sex because I was on such medications that all my sexuality was erased as if it had never existed. So I had that, but now I console myself with the knowledge that I am not scheduled to die just yet, so there would be time to catch up.

You said 12 years.

For me, it was more than 3 years, so not quite your situation, but still, I hope you will adopt my attitude.