Oh my goodness, my heart goes out to you.....

Sadly that can happen when a person with an addiction goes through rehab and then they decide that they want different things and a new life. They are not the person they once were.

This must be having a terrible effect on you....you must be totally devastated and you MUST get some professional help for yourself. You are in Ireland and therefore entitled to the NHS.....go see your GP and explain and ask him to refer you for counselling. He can and will do this for you. Otherwise contact relate they are a charitable organisation and they provide counselling and support for a nominal donation and if you can't afford it they will do for free or whatever you can afford to donate.

You have planned your life with this person.....kids.....a future and you must be hurting terribly and to not even be able to see him face to face to have ended the relationship will be devastating for you.....and you are understandably going through the loss and grieving process.

It is very difficult to go through this alone, especially at this time of year......so please look after yourself and get some professional help and support, it is out there.

You have done a good thing, joining this site and seeking support too, you will get plenty here......but please for your own health follow it up with professional help and support too..................sending you a big hug x