The days are getting more than I know how to handle up wise. if I write it down maybe it'll leave my head and let me be... I'm craving attention. I want people to recognize that they are lucky to know me. I want to win everything and I don't want anyone to tell me no. I'm not spending because I know we can't but I desperately want to. all of this is making me want to pull out my hair. I can't stand the fact that everyone else around me seems to be going so slow. It's not right and I'm being impatient with everyone. When someone doesn't understand me it makes my want to scream at them. I'm telling people more information about me than the need to know and I keep getting asked if I drank my lunch while I'm at work because I'm laughing hysterically at the stupidest crap. And I'm saying an entire conversation in one breath most of the time. I doing want anyone to interrupt me while I'm raking but if you're talking I can interrupt you. This is not going well with work.... I don't even want to do my work. Can't focus on it I keep thinking about weekday I want from my spouse that I got told no about lady night because I needed sleep which is a good thing I guess. I got more sleep last night than I have in weeks.... Now I feel guilty because I verbally threw up....eugh