Where do I start? Well I'm 30, I've been married now for 7 years. I have 2 children, one is 6 years old and the other is 2 months old. I met my wife when I was 20.I had a very unsettled upbringing, I went to a lot of schools and had very few friends. My parents split up when I was 10 then my mother moved my sister and me to the other side of the country.*As early as I can remember I have liked to dress up in women's clothes. At the age of about 8 I used to hide in the wardrobe wearing a skirt and high heels and try on swimming costumes. As I got older I used to dream of living by myself so I could dress up more often and go out shopping as a woman.*So many times I have tried to repress this within me. Mostly in the attempt to be "normal" and get a girlfriend. It never worked. I didn't get a girlfriend and the crossdressing came back.*The thought then came to me that perhaps I could have a boyfriend, I could meet a nice guy who would like me dressing up. But I have never really been attracted to guys.I then met my wife and the crossdressing went away for a few years. But it slowly came back when we moved in together when she was out of the house.*It went away again for a couple of years and we got married and had a child.*About 3 years later the desire came back with avengance. I wanted to look like a woman with shaved legs and body make up etc. The thoughts of dating a guy came back too.I then told my wife about the crossdressing but not the guy bit. She was very upset. She accepted it for a while. Then told me she couldn't deal with it and wanted me to stop. So I did.All was fine until my wife and I started having some issues earlier this year. My wife's best friend and I have always got on very well, she is extremely beautiful and a fantastic person. Over the course of the year we got to be very close friends and I helped her through a lot of issues she had this year. I think started to fall in love with her. I had never felt about my wife the way I felt about her friend. So I asked the friend what she thought of me. It was very positive but only as friend not as a partner. She then told me she had heard about my crossdressing from my wife. She said she didn't judge me for it, or think any different of me. But she said I really need to sort myself out and think about what I really want out of my life she said it's clearly not my wife.*Since that conversation my desire to dress as a woman as come back and the thought of dating guys has come back.*I don't know what to do. I've never thought of myself as gay,bisexual or transgendered. But maybe I am. I'm really not happy with my life as it is and I have spent most of this year on antidepressants.*Any suggestions please.*