Back I go...third time in 18 months.

I wrote this earlier, but can't find it, so if it appears, my apology for the duplicate post.

Saw my doc today. Discussed what to do with me. Personally speaking, I made a BIG mistake going home for two weeks over thanksgiving. I have been the disappointment in my family for 65 years.

My mother couldn't have made it any clearer just how disappointing I continue to be, and my oldest daughter too on a daily basis here where I live...10 miles from her.

I stopped taking medical and psych meds on Saturday...why bother. Purely out of habit I do check my glucose three to five times a day. I didn't eat all day in Saturday. Just looking at food is nauseating. I did eat lunch today, Subway, and it is a lump in my stomach and I am a bit nauseous. I have a huge sweet tooth and even looking at that, pastry or chocolate...well unappealing.

So what to do, as doc put it I don't quit qualify for hospital since I am not suicidal...which is fine with me. The recommendation is to return to intensive hospital outpatient therapy which is three days a week for six hour each day.

I talked to my payee rep about extra allowance for the gas. The drive is one hour each way, three times a week.

I think the most interesting and unanswered is my failing mental health is if the experimental brain surgery I had in 2007 having a part in this. The pharma company stopped following us after 60 months...5 years.