Well, I certainly see where you're coming from. It's a fairly rational train of thought...sex is the most intimate level of love (or at least quite high on the list) two people can share. If I had to guess, your thought process is that by the fact this is, in a manner of speaking, allowed to happen, that means that, to you, whatever issue is there to prompt the "craving" is, at the very least, not severe enough to hamper the fundamental base of the relationship, that being the emotional and loving connection. If you're trying to assure yourself that things are okay (even, perhaps, when they're not, but that's speaking more to the previous abusive boyfriend...I'm glad you're out of that), what better way than by using this to ascertain the emotional and physical attraction is still there? Is that close to your train of thought on the matter?

I do agree with Hammy that there's no real reason to label one type as "okay" and one type as "not okay." I'm not worried so much about the sex itself, however, as I am the underlying reason, in that you are, in fact, using it for security. The sex itself isn't the problem. My area of concern would be its use as a redress of grievances...it's like using a band-aid on a bruise. It might make you forget it's there until the bruise heals, but the bruise is still there.

I don't think it's strictly necessary you cut it so black and white as to say "We're having a rough patch, so sex is a no go," but it is important that you focus your attention on fixing the rough patch. As you have acknowledged you are prone to using sex as a security blanket, I think you're cognizant of this. I would just tell you not to worry so much about the sex itself, and focus on the problems causing the rough patch. The sex can still come as it may.

As far as if it's normal, there's a long standing cultural acknowledgement of "make up sex" for a reason. I don't think it's anything out of the ordinary, just so long as the sex doesn't become the remedy itself instead of a part of a healthy relationship.