I'm going through a hard break up. It's been 4 months now and it didn't get any better, I also understand it when you say that pain is so big that you are willing to do anything for it to go away. Once I started thinking about hurting myself I went out from apartment where I live and walked to a psychotherapist who works near me and got appointment for myself, for tomorrow actually. . I think you should try and do the same. Try to separate yourself from this situation. You gonna live and you want to be happy, don't you? Maybe more and more and more time - will help. I really do feel your pain.

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