Having just come from an hour discussing this topic with my therapist, I'd like to share what he said and what I have read. Healing your inner child comes from being in the moment, right now, if even for just a few minutes. Meditation helps you do this. To begin, focus on just your breathing for 10 minutes a day (there are many meditation directives/music on you tube). When you find yourself responding from your inner child, focus on breathing to shift from your inner child to an adult. That's the beginning step.

This is called Mindfulness. There are a lot of book, tapes, videos on this subject. I've found Bob Stahl's Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction very helpful. The Work of Byron Katie (on facebook) has helped me a lot.