I was diagnosed last week with BP and my struggle seems to be less at having BP than being upset
1) with my primary doctor for the round-about way she handled it. I wish she would have been more straightforward about it--she kind of left me guessing.
2) with myself. I knew I had depression (I had been prescribed anti-depressants 5 times) and anxiety with a touch of obsessiveness. I had been a "worry-wort" since I was a kid, and sometimes an excessive one. But after being diagnosed, I remembered doing a BP or mania online screening 10-20 years and seeing that this was an issue--I thought I could get by with self-help and vigilance.for some of the mania symptoms. In looking back and learning about BP and mania now, I see that a good part of what I thought was anxiety in the past 3 years that has been very stressful was actually mania. I live alone, so it is up to me to monitor my behavior and, looking back, I didn't do a good job.
3) with taking medication. Presently, I have extensive food sensitivities, so the foods that I can eat are very limited. Plus, I couldn't tolerate the anti-depressants I was prescribed because of the side-effects that mostly adversely affected my sleep. I am not looking forward to an extended process of getting the right dose or combination of meds.

So for me, I had some knowledge of my BP years ago, but I apparently tried to ignore it. I wonder now how my life would have been if I had gotten help years ago. But so it goes. Yesterday is a cancelled check.... Today is the day to work towards solutions!