Hi Rosa I'm so sorry that you're having these feelings, and I wish that I could take them away! I know that it's difficult... do you think that it has anything to do with postpartum depression? Did this depression because of your kids start right after they were born? And also, I know that you might not have time to see a psychiatrist, but maybe if you could take just an hour once a week of your time, it might help with your depression and your feelings towards your children Let me know!