In this case, for yourself, and your children, it may be very important to get some help from a professional. (what was your mother like?) The children will/do "know" on some level the way you feel but are far to young to really know, or react as they may when older. Your caring is important to them, it is essential for their health. Perhaps your doc, or their pediatrician can refer. There is also a group called Parents Anonymous---check them out.