Quote:
Originally Posted by steelfang
[clipped] Most notably, I dumped my best friend of 5 years at the beginning of my manic episode. I said very nasty things to her such as telling her she was full of ****, a spoiled brat, and a slut. I then blocked her on Facebook, deleted her from my phone and we haven't talked since. After finals, I am planning on writing her a apology note and disclosing my diagnosis to her. Basically, I am to tell her the reason for my erratic behavior. I am not going to play the role of a victim, however. The take home message will be that although I am responsible for my own actions, my diagnosis explains my hostility. It doesn't excuse my behavior, but it does explain it. I will tell her that I don't expect her to forgive me, but I am open to communicating again if she feels like it. Hopefully she will forgive me, fingers crossed. [clipped].
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Good for you in planning to make amends & doing so by taking responsibility for your actions!
We all make messes, and not all of them can be completely cleaned up, but we can do what we can. Like you note, she may not forgive you (though perhaps she may forgive you after a period of time), but by the sincere amends you plan to make, you may also be able to forgive yourself a little, too, by at least trying to make things right.
Forgiving ourselves for our behavior is also important because we need to live with ourselves as well as we can!
Good luck with your finals and your amends!