Please try and find some counselling....go see your GP they can refer you on the NHS for counselling and then you can have some support for yourself. You need to start looking after you now........he has taken care of himself and you know that he is well now......so now its time for you.

For so long now you have had his problems to face and him to look after....now is your time....time to heal and time to build new friendships....a new life for yourself......don't see this as a frightening experience....look upon it as a new start.....new beginning for you to develop a new fresh start for you. Take it slowly......just day by day.....get some support and it will come in time........you need to start looking out and after you now........sending you a big hug x