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Originally Posted by lightinthesky
All I want to know is how to move on after a break up. Is there any other tips except for "go out with your friends, be around your friends, work more, make yourself busy"? I know that I lost first and maybe last love of my love and I can't stop picturing him living our dream life with someone else, can not believe that we won't have kids together like we always wanted, feeling angry knowing that he is doing much better than me now, that he has taken care of himself when I am so deeply broken. Today was a first day of a psychotherapy, but I still feel dead inside. how do I go through this?
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You don't forget. Unfortunately memory is not a selective thing we can just wipe out a memory. But you CAN close the book on this guy. I've learned over the years, for one thing, how to close the book on people I cannot be with that I really wanted to at some point. I wish I had a good explanation but I've learned that love is a choice more than anything. The yearning and wanting of someone is not something easily turned off, period. But that is not the same thing at all. Once you find a way to just decide to accept that it won't be, you can cherish the memories and what you dreamed of as great things that could have been but no longer need to ruin your life. All of the things above you mentioned you don't want to hear, also help but only after you've accepted that the chance of having him is gone.
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feeling angry knowing that he is doing much better than me now, that he has taken care of himself when I am so deeply broken
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This to me is a very telling statement. That you say you want this man but you resent him for doing well for himself. Have you ever asked yourself why you resent him for this?