Quote:
Originally Posted by lightinthesky
s4ndm4n2006
He was on a prescription drug "methadone" for over 5 years, he never tried cocaine or anything like that.. I used to think that this is just something that he needs to kind of "keep him alive", he was never high or anything like that, so I would never even think that this is not him. But after his treatment he completely cut me out, we lived like a married couple, was I fooled by him? I don't understand now wtf was it! It is like a very bad dream, sometimes I wake up thinking that maybe reality is a dream, and now that I am awake I will see my true reality where we are still together. Despite anything I loved him and I can't believe he would do this to me. I never felt the need too protect myself from strong feelings to him because I also felt loved. How can I close this book? everything is still out there in my heart. I am hoping maybe he will come back to me, maybe it is a mistake.
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I can understand your saying that he was never high but the fact that one has to go through rehab to get off any drug at all states there is a major addiction, even if not causing an altered state or high. Thing is methadone is known to be highly addictive opioid drug so some effect on him has to be the case.
A drug like depakote that I was on for over 10 years had an effect on me, and although I was never "high" on it, I definitely am a different person now that i am drug free. I was not "me" on it and it's part of why I quit. Just an example
I cannot say he'd never come back with any kind of authority. But i can say you need to move on, if only until he chooses to do so. You have to, for now, decide that no one, not even someone you love and care deeply about should have the ability to stop your life from going forward. If someone loves you they would not want you to pine away for them when they can't or won't be with you.
Also, having been on a strong drug like that, again not considering being high, internally something has to have changed. If it had no effect on him he wouldn't have been dependent on it. So perhaps part of what he's feeling is the rawness of facing life without this life-changing drug. Maybe it's just been too much for him to bear at this point of time in his life.