First, it seems as if your marriage isn't working. You had an emotional affair with your wife's friend, and that needs to be addressed. If cross dressing has created part of the rift in your marriage and is something you feel you need to do as an expression of yourself, you need to figure out if your marriage is worth losing that.

I think your thoughts on dating men can be normal, but if there is no physical attraction to a man, then it will probably be something that wouldn't work.

I think really examining your needs will help, and probably finding a therapist to help you identify them. I'd present those to your wife, and see if it's something she is willing to accept. This is hard and I'm sorry you're going though it, if you need to talk I'm here.

Hang in there.

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