Holy crap! She sounds like a nightmare.

One thing I like about my therapist is that she is gentle and accepting. She doesn't try to get me to change or tell me what I need to do or pass judgements about all the things I've done wrong or point out how much better I could do things if I just tried. She will meet me where I am, she tells me all the time that whatever kind of space I'm in is okay and she won't ask me to be or do anything else.

You'd think this would just enable me to get stuck in the same old rut but it hasn't. I've changed in some really good ways. But not because she told me I had to. She hasn't given me instructions or told me I had to add more challenges to my already overwhelming life.

I think most of us do the best we can. If you could "just do it" Catblack, I bet you'd have done it already. I hope you find a T who helps you feel better by honouring who you are and helping you make sense of your story. It sounds like you don't need one more harsh, critical voice in your life. You do that to yourself already. Good luck finding the kind, warm, accepting T you need.

Also, if meds were moderately helpful and you got worse after stopping them maybe it's time to reassess that decision.