OK... I'm gonna give you my opinion of what I think is going on. THAT along with... well, I WAS gonna say 2 bits... THAT along with a couple of bucks will buy you a cuppa joe. OK?

You were in a committed relationship with your wife for a very long time. 8 years is a long time. I'm assuming you were monogamous during that time? Yes, probably. So, for that long you hadn't had sex with any woman other than the woman you made Love to, your wife. You KNEW your wife. You were comfortable with her. You Loved her. You knew what she liked and what she didn't like. You knew how to do all of the little the things that you knew pleased her... and you LIKED to please her because you Loved her. For the most part, making Love to your wife MEANT something to you. It wasn't just meaningless sex, the kind a man might pay for on the street. It was special because it was with the woman you Loved. Of course, at the time you probably didn't THINK of it that way. But it's how you felt inside.

I may be completely off here I suppose. Perhaps I'm not really qualified to share any sort of meaningful opinion with you. I mean, I've never "been" with a woman that I didn't Love, so I don't exactly know about what I'm about to say because I've never been there... but it feels right, so I'll say it anyway...

I think that you know and remember what making Love with your wife feels like EMOTIONALLY. You know how wonderful it feels in your heart. It is INTIMATE and emotionally satisfying. THAT is what you are use to feeling and sharing. You were used to experiencing a connection with the one person that you Loved. That connection is something that can not be described or explained. It just IS... and once you've experienced it with someone you Love, to NOT feel it is... I dunno... confusing and unexpected I suppose. There is an emptiness that you didn't know existed until you experienced it. Having sex with someone you don't Love feels empty compared to the connection you experienced with your wife. Performing the mechanical act of having sex might feel good on your genitals, but is otherwise completely empty, confusing, and meaningless. That isn't something you're used to feeling!

You are used to making Love, not just banging away at a woman in order to have an orgasm... and your body is telling you that something is missing. Your heart is telling you that something is missing... and yet, you aren't quite aware of what that missing thing is... That's what I'm suggesting here.

You are missing the connection that you are so used to feeling.

So, Sir... In my almost meaningless opinion, I would say, slow the hell down! To heck with screwing another woman... for right now anyway. You've only been away from the woman who was your other half for a couple of months!!! And make no mistake, she WAS your other half... and you are only a half a person without her... for now... and that's as scary and painful as... well... I lost my first wife... and I can't really speak for you, but here, almost 40 years later, I still keenly feel the pain of that loss... so yeah. I have an idea of what that pain is... Slow down. Take a breath. Step away from the edge...

If you are going to have sex with another woman, great. But get to know her and LIKE her first. You don't have to want to marry her or even Love her. But, at least get comfortable with her and give her the chance to get comfortable with YOU before you knowingly and intentionally chose to go further... and don't let your LITTLE head make all the decisions... Take it slow to begin with... You might even just spend the night cuddling and holding each other... who knows? I guess what I'm trying to say is, unless you've all of the sudden developed the ability to have meaningless sex with someone you don't care about, find someone that MEANS something to you and spend time getting to know her before you just hop into the sack and end up being disappointed and frustrated again.

Anyway... if anything I said here has helped you to figure things out, I'm happy to have been able to help. If what I said doesn't apply to you, that's just fine too. I spoke from my heart and gave you the best I could give...

I wish for you a respite from your pain and the joy of finding your way...

Dan