Quote:
Originally Posted by winter4me
I challenge your description of ANY activity as "frivolous". Your t. has a very good suggestion. And, creating anything can take you places you never imagined it could, deep, wonderful places; and it is Work too, it is not trivial by any means. I too have c-PTSD and one of the best things I can do for myself is make Something, use my hands and let my inner guide loose to go where it will. [in some countries artists, writers, creators are in jail for expressing themselves, this is not frivolous]--you may find a way that will help you work through your issues at the same time that you find something you can (yes. really) enjoy and be proud of doing.
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Thanks for your comments. Frankly, I have never been a very frivolous person. That's my personality. As a child I was not encouraged to pursue interests and have few; there were also no funds to pursue interests and that is still the case as I am on SSDI. I also don't seem to have many talents or have a tendency to be optimistic. The T's suggestion seems to say that she does not know me. I think I may be better off with a male therapist even though she is good at many things.
I try new things all the time: new foods / restaurants; new routes through the city; study / read up on new subjects, etc. I am always trying new things but am not focused on one. I know that I need new hobbies and need more social contact. Where I live there are no places to canoe or space to learn archery. It's a big city. Almost everything is expensive. As a boy scout I did try carving enough to know that it's not something I want to do.
There are lot of things going on. I am dealing with injuries and aging. I had hobbies. I am missing my old hobbies - especially tennis - terribly even though I cannot participate anymore on any level including teaching. There is nothing that can replace it; everything is a let down. The T appears to not have ever been athletic. She does not understand. Adapting to sedentary hobbies will not be easy. I'd like to try bird watching but my feet are too bad for the long walks that would entail. The injuries and other physical issues also prevent me from swimming. I can cycle only in moderation. I love food but need to lose a lot of weight and am on a very limited diet due to several dietary intolerances. I've explored spirituality (several religions) but am not a very spiritual person. I tried learning a new language (Italian) a while back. I still think that going back to school is my best option. I have always liked to learn and that will never change. It's an intrinsic part of who I am. I'd like to study international politics again though I have no idea what I would do with a degree or certificate in that subject.