I don't feel guilty for any reason. It's just that the belief I developed as a young person in a torturous situation was that if I did things well enough, or was good enough I wouldn't be hurt. The reality of course is that no matter how "good" I am bad things happen. Death, cancer.... the list goes on. So I ma trying to reframe my thinking that I am good enough and the bad things are not because I am bad. Make sense? Anyway, thanks for support.