You make some very good points Dan, and you may be right on. Maybe I stepped too far too fast and tried to leave my emotions at the door in exchange for an easy opportunity just because it presented itself. I spent too much time worrying about what being single was like back when sexual opportunities didn't present themselves in my life, that I wasn't thinking about how much I've changed as a person in the last 8 years and what that change (being with just one woman that I loved and who loved me) means to me emotionally. I think you've really hit on something there, because looking back on it the conflicts going on in my mind during these casual sexual encounters were: on one hand women usually don't take much interest in me (especially sexually) so I was concentrated on taking what I thought to be a rare opportunity each time, while on the other hand I found myself each time feeling like I wanted more connection, even trying to do what felt right when I would make love with my ex, even comparing my ex to each of the women (in my mind) in both sexual encounters. I guess maybe I'm not over my ex entirely, and in my loneliness I'm trying to recreate that sense of connection without the time and effort needed to actually have it. So my penis is on strike till I come to terms with what I want out of a sexual relationship, including the emotional connection that I found to be a turn on in my former long term relationship. Perhaps it sounds a bit dense of me to say, but I hadn't even considered really that my physical pleasure from sex would possibly be so strongly connected to my loving emotions. I was just thinking of when I watch porn or fantasize by myself, as just a fun activity, but maybe my sexual psyche is saying it needs more now if it's going to be with a actual partner in this activity, or at least that it's not ready to jump back into looking at sex in such a casual way right now. Taking a break from sex all together for a while may be the solution that I haven't put on the table because I've been so caught up in being wanted by someone else, I may have been blinding myself through the desire for physical pleasure and getting frustrated when my deeper emotions got in the way. Thank you for you advice Dan (and 'Big Mama' and 'Webgoji'), I think this is definitely giving me more perspective on this than I had or was allowing myself.