Quote:
Originally Posted by SaraSkyblue
I want a relationship...but every time I am in one I feel caged. I feel like I will never be good enough. I end up pushing them away. I continually doubt myself, which causes me to act stupid and then UGH. I just never feel right in relationships. Things usually start fine, then I just snap. Every time! I start getting upset at them for no reason, we fight all the time. I get OVERLY clingy. It's just crazy!! Why is this? Are these things related to my disorders? Or is this something else?
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Yes these things could be related to BPD. Sounds like you need to work on your confidence. I see your 20 and personally, I remember that being a chaotic time for me. I am now 32 and I can say I am better than what I was when I was 20 so maybe you will find your confidence will grow with time.
I have BPD also and although things are better than what they were at 20 (confidence) I still struggle. But if things carry on the way they have, I hope my confidence will keep growing. There is hope.
If you're not already in therapy, I would recommend you enter it. It has helped me LOADS over the years and maybe it can help you too.
I believe before we are truly able to love someone else and be happy within a relationship, we must learn to love ourselves first.
All the best