things like that don't bother me anymore- and i know that's very neggative, but with all the things that have gone wrong in my life, i really can't see myself developing any sort of future or being happy

it used to bother me all the time- you know, what do i want to be?. how do i want my future to turn out?. but i'm at the stage where i can't answer those questions... i don't know

my biggist fear has always been dying with nothing to show for it, so it's always been a sort of priority of mine to think about stuff like that- but as i say, i've lost so much, missed out on so much, that i can't see anything making much of a diffrence now