My current T was overwhelmed with my SI and suicidal ideation. She knew I needed more help than she could give and until then, I had refused to be in the hospital. I finally gave in. She promised me if I could get stabilized that she could help me. I was touched. Made me want to help myself. So I did voluntarily commit myself and upon discharge from hospital was assigned to go to a PHP. For the first month, I hated every minute of it. Only stayed because of my promise to my therp is that I would try to help myself (even though I didn't have any hope).

I'm going through a lot right now physically and instead of automatically SI'ing or suicidal ideation, I'm just looking to get by one day at a time.

That way of maintaining would not have probably been possible if I had not accepted the extra help my therp wanted me to. You're therp obviously cares. I think she cares enough to know if you're at a point you need the additional help. Can you feel at least enough caring by her, to trust that what she is telling you will be in your best interest, even though it may not feel that way right now?

Good luck.