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Originally Posted by MotownJohnny
Nothing wrong with it at all -- I know that intellectually. I know that morally. I know that for everyone but myself.
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I am the same way. I have torn myself down in ways that I could never think of anyone else. I still do but I'm working on it.
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Thank you for sharing. I know intellectually it's a choice (I keep using that phrase to distinguish between my thoughts and my feelings, I guess the best way to explain it).
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I dissociate my intellect from my emotions too. They conflict almost all the time. I'm working on that too!
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I just have to shake this thing, and I just plain do not know HOW to do that. It's like a constant, almost palpable presence that comes in at random times, and especially at stressful times. I can be doing just fine, having a good day, and some tiny little thing will set me off, and I'm right back to that thought.
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My thoughts turn on a dime as well. The second time I attempted suicide, I had woken up that morning feeling great. I was in a good mood and relatively happy. Then that night my H said something to me that set me off and made me feel hopeless.
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I wonder if hypnosis would work to drive it out of my mind, or substitute some other thought for that one.
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I don't know anything about hypnosis. However, changing thought patterns has worked for me but I had to learn how to do it on my own. Now, instead, I think about what I want to do with my life. I guess I've found a purpose and I want to (and will) show everyone what I'm truly capable of.
I pray you find whatever it is you need to overcome this!!
