Hi everyone,

I'm new to this forum but I have been dealing with depression on and off (mostly on) for about 10 years now.

Recently my depression has been worsening and while I thought spending more time with my friends would help, it's actually been making things even worse. It's not that my friends themselves are doing anything wrong - it's just that I'm at a point where I want to spend as much time alone as possible because I don't feel strong or emotionally stable enough to even leave the house more often than what's necessary. And when my depression is affecting me as much as it has been, I am absolutely not worth spending any time with because I become completely un-fun and I can't muster up enough energy to attempt to enjoy myself, or to even try to look like I'm not completely miserable. I had a friend post a passive-aggressive facebook status once saying that she hates "emotional vampires" and wishes there was a way to get rid of them, and I highly suspect that she was referring to me. I just feel like I'm burdening my friends by even being present at their social gatherings.

Anyway, my question is this: how do I turn down my friends' invitations politely, preferably without mentioning my depression? I have thought about telling maybe one or two close friends about my depression, but I don't want them to feel sorry for me or worse, think that I'm fishing for sympathy or "using it as an excuse." (If you hadn't already guessed from the facebook incident, my friends are a little two-faced and jugdmental, and I can't exactly count on them to be understanding or supportive. Some "friends," I know, but I'm so horribly socially inept and so bad at meeting new people that they're all I've got.) I considered faking sick but I'd rather not lie about that because then if I ran into them somewhere or if they showed up at my door with soup or something, I'd have to keep up the charade. I've thought about using the whole "family emergency" excuse too, but that goes right back to issue of not wanting people to worry about me. So, what's a good excuse to use to pass on social gatherings?

I'd really appreciate any advice.