ArrMCee, have you seen a psychiatrist or therapist. I can relate to your story and the crippling that depression can cause. I know I can't get by without medication and right now the medication is not working very well for me but my doctor is continually trying to get me better.
You sound like a very resouceful young lady. I'm sure you can get better but it may take help.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin
"Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha