I am completly new on this site and didnt know where to post this. I dont know what it really fits in to. I feel like Im more then one person. Sometimes I am completly fine I am happy i think logically and when i think about the things i think when im not fine i think what? id never think of something like that id never do something like that but then sometimes i feel nothing at all no emotions so ill do risky things like have sex with strangers or shop lift then i get a rush from it and it puts me back to normal for a while. and then sometimes i feel like im just completly crazy my emotions are completly out of control i think of killing other people. I am getting worse i feel like im loosing control of myself and one day i wont be me any more ill just be the bad me who wants to kill and hurt people. i want to kill myself before i loose myself completly and do hurt someone. I havent seeked out help before because i dont think any kind of help would actually help and i dont want to be locked up forever id rather just be dead.