So sorry to hear that you are facing both difficult medical treatments and now monetary issues, too...

Can you have someone else at home worry about the rent issue as you face and get through your medical situation?

About your surgery... you say you have been through 'the infusions' before... and you survived even though you had such difficult side effects ...can you focus on having gotten through those side effects before? Also, is it a surgery that you expect will make your life better once passed? If so, can you also focus on that???

Sending caring thoughts to you~ hug
Chloe