RIght now I'm almost euphoric, I wanna laugh I feel amazing, at the sametime I want to die, I want to kill myself, I just smothered myself twice with my pillow but I can't kill myself. I attempted last year. Without alcohol in my system I know I wont kill myself.

I see no point in me going to a hospital because I concious can't kill myself

but I have all these thoughts about dying different plans, I want to yell, I'm laughing. I don't know what's going on in my head lol

headache, so much noise in my head, I feel seasick, I've been balled up in covers all day and haven't left the hosue