Hey guys thanks so much for your answers and support.

I went to therapy and blew it. My t said that I had to read or talk cause if not we couldn't work. And I just coudn't do it. She told me to come back later and read it, or just call her whenever I was ready to do it.

She said we had agreed that I will do that -which is true- and that we couldn't work this way.

I insisted that I just couldn't do it. She said she was positive I could.

Anyways, went home and emailed her, saying I wasn't able to go back cause I just couldn't read out loud or talk. I also told her I felt very upset with myself for failing therapy once again, and that I knew it was my fault, but I couldn't get myself to do things in a different way.

Well, I sort of let her know this was good-bye...that I wouldn't be going back.

She hasn't answered me yet.
I really hope she doesn't take my words seriously...cause I really want to go back. And keep trying.