**TRIGGER**

I can and supposed to call the crisis line through my therapist's office. I hate calling, so I've only called them twice in the last month when everything started going downhill.

My urges depend on my anxiety & panic level. This morning I was at like a 3-5 on a 1-10 scale of how bad my urges were. Tonight it's about a 7. I've already self harmed, and had the pills with me but haven't taken any of them.I know if I get to the point of taking any, it will be more than the last time.

Days like Tuesday it was like a 8 or 9. I did both cutting and pills.