If you nearly died from cancer, would you feel guilty for traumatizing your daughter? My mom had uterine cancer, and before her hysterectomy, the doctors didn't know how far it had spread. It was a scary few weeks between her diagnosis and surgery, wondering how much danger she was in. Thankfully, the cancer was confined and she was okay after the surgery. Now, though, I don't remember the fear. I just feel grateful that my mother is alive, because if it had taken doctors a few more months to diagnose her, she might not be. I appreciate her all the more because she could have been taken from me.

You have a real illness. When you took those pills, you were sick and wanted escape. You didn't take them in cold blood, just to cause your daughter pain.

Please try to forgive yourself. You are a survivor; please remember that! From what you wrote, you sound like an excellent mother. I'm sure that when she is twenty, your daughter will remember your time together and smile, not your sui attempt. And when she is old enough to understand what you went through, she will feel nothing but empathy and deep gratitude to the universe that her mother survived a terrible health crisis that was out of everybody's control.