Salutations,

am a 33 years old Singaporean of Chinese descent. I have a father who is similar like yours. Have a drinking problem, beats my mum & brothers. However, I somehow was spared from his beatings. I only got a back slap once from him when I was a child.

He has obviously some mental issues which gotten worse as he ages. I believe my mum's depression was a result of his beatings. From what I gathered, least you were fortunate or unfortunate(depending on how you view it) in a sense that you have 4 children.

Anyway, enough of my own story. For the sake of your children, you should keep yourself together. If possible fight for the custody of your children.

Since the situation have gone south, do not initiate any form of communication of your soon-to-be ex-wife. Unless it is absolutely necessary or it is about matters of your children. She is NO longer on the same page with YOU.

Bear in mind, keep conversation minimal. If you say anything wrong, she could
use it in court AGAINSTyou. If she ever wins the custody of your children & you are only allow to visit them on certain days.

When at her residence, greet her & that's IT. No small talk & stuff, go straight to your children & enjoy their company.

I know 16 years of marriage IS a long time. But when girlfriend or wife TURN against you. Be on your guard. We must be aware that the ones who are closest to you, are often the ones TURN against you. Same goes for friends & family members. Be strong, try your very hard at work, if possible ask your superior to write a recommendation letter for your promotion. Least, when the court date comes, you can present documents that you are a CAPABLE father. Organise your s_h_i_t & present it to the magistrate. Last but NOT least, NO drinking & drugs at this stage.
You can take a week off from work & drink to your heart content when this episode is over. Hell, we are Men. We go out and do things & get them done. Want your children in your custody? Listen to valuable advice.

Heck, even Judas betrayed Jesus for ****ing measly 30 sliver coins.