I agree about boundaries, albeit, it can be such a complex concept to explain or grasp, right away.
Is it possible, to elaborate, just a little more, about what you mean about giving yourself less blame, than you are deserving? Perhaps, an example? I feel, I may have an inkling, as to what you mean, but may be better able to go a little further, if you were to take the explanation, just a bit further...
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