Hello 15LRC-
I think you are right-actions speak louder than words. And, to me, it is a red flag when people act differently when they are alone with me and when they are around others. I wonder who they really are-which one is the real version? You wrote that some people said they didn't see a problem with the person but it may be that you are just more aware of things, more attuned to the way people respond and the way they act. I strongly believe in paying attention to your inner instincts-those instincts are there to protect you. I agree with the other people on this thread-back away from this person. A true friendship should be give and take and it sounds like you are doing all the giving. I would follow your instincts. I wish you well.