Hello Mid-Life-Larry-

Making a marriage work needs to be the priority for both people. It is a challenge-as you know-to keep a marriage going and can be very difficult when things get rocky. I know this from personal experience. I am divorced. The person I was married to refused to go to counseling with me, even though we had major problems. I know that some marriages don't work out but he didn't even try to make things work-in fact he actively did things that were harmful to our marriage instead. It was a devastating experience, not just because of the things he did, such as being unfaithful, but because he didn't even try to make things work. It sounds like you have been trying. If you feel that you have done what you can to mend the problems in the marriage I think there comes a time when you have to think about your own well being.

If you are miserable, if you constantly feel worse about yourself when interacting with this person and if you are criticized as being too sensitive, dramatic and emotional when you try to talk about your feelings and your experiences I think you have to start thinking about your needs. I think that marriages take a lot of constant work and effort but I can't think of anything worse than being in a marriage-or any relationship-where the other person feels worse about themselves, as you described. I would not want to hold someone in a relationship because they feel obligated to be there. If you feel that you have done what you can to make things work you owe it to yourself to think about what you need to be happy. You do deserve to be treated with care and respect. If you need someone to talk to about all of this don't hesitate to message me. I wish you all the best-as you so deserve.