maybe it's ok if he just accepts you, with depression as an occasional part of you. Maybe all we ever need to understand is that we cannot truly understand, just accept the parts of ourselves that haven't beeen studied (yet) in sufficient detail.

I think depression was part of the reason I lost my husband, but that's because I wasn't diagnosed, and in fact didn't even have a name, had no idea depression was a disease with a diagnose and science etc behind it.

Meanwhile, I'm just thinking I need to accept it, I'll always be leaning towards depression, meds or no meds.