Blue I

My ♥ goes out to you. I feel like you are surrounded with toxic people/family and it's taking a huge toll. Have you ever tried Alanon? Even if you can't make a mtg the literature or online support might help. I understand about your bf. Sometimes it's scary to be alone and feels more secure to have anyone there no matter how they treat the relationship. I feel like I don't deserve better from my low self esteem. Have you tried to have a family mtg to address all the bs? Or maybe tell your kids if they don't pick up there crap you'll start donating or trashing their belongings. Tough love may help you with your sanity. Please be kind to yourself. You did not cause your kids addictions anymore than they caused your bipolar. Helping them stay sober is out of your control; they have to hit bottom and decide to save themselves. Alanon helped me to detach from my husband's drinking. Today I know it's not about me - he is just sick period. I think when unhealthy boundaries are established with friends and family people end up owning each others problems. I have terrible boundaries with my mom and when she tried to make me sober up I used more. It was my problem to face in my own time. I hope you are able to find a little bit of time to yourself today and put yourself ahead of others for a moment of serenity.
Tnt

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